In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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