i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
