how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
