dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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