Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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