the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
