Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
