Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You made out with two different species that night
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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