We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize