the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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