you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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