lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
