You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
