you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
