I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
