drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
