Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
