he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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