Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
