I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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