We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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