playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
