The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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