I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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