Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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