i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
