its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
