I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
