Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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