What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
