but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
