Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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