Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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