fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
