is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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