i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I wear drunk well.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize