Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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