theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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