now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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