Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
