i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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