If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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