BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
