your parents love me but you hate me
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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