That's when you crack a 10am beer
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
