I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
