yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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