i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize