i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
