I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
