I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
