I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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