So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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