how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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