im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
