cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She bit a glass in half.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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