Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
