Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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