Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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