Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
