Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
