She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
