We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
