My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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