Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
