The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize