And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I will be naked everywhere
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
