I just saw a hot homeless man
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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