When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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